律政俏佳人 Legally Blonde

Legally Blonde
(Comedy) (2001)
 

Major Characters

Elle Woods..........................Reese Witherspoon
     A very pretty, smart and sweet young woman who decides to completely change
     her life and go to Harvard law School, in order to follow her boyfriend,
     who has decided to break up with her.

Warner Huntington the 3rd...........Matthew Davis
     Elle’s boyfriend, who is both snobby and shallow, who decides to leave her
     because he feels he needs to find a more serious looking girlfriend that
     will help him with his future career in politics.

Paulette............................Jennifer Coolidge
     An insecure working class hairdresser who becomes Elle’s best friend.

Vivian..............................Selma Blair
     Warner’s new girlfriend at Harvard, who at first treats Elle very poorly.

Brooke Taylor Windham................Ali Larter
     A successful business woman who makes well known exercise
     videos, who is charged with the murder of her rich husband.

Professor Callahan...................Victor Garber
     A criminal defense lawyer and Professor at Harvard, who is hired to
     defend Brooke, and who agrees to let Elle work as an intern on the case.

Emmett...............................Luke Wilson
     A young lawyer and Professor Callahan’s assistant.


Plot Summary

This is the story of Elle Woods, a very cute and friendly  student who is also
the most popular girl in her Los Angeles sorority (A house and club for female
students). Elle has just finished her studies in Fashion, and is getting prepared
to marry her boyfriend, Warner,  who will soon be going to Harvard Law School,
in Boston. Unfortunately, Warner, who is actually a somewhat superficial ass,
decides to break up with Elle, because he wants to find a more serious looking
girlfriend who will help his career in politics after he gets out of law school
(Elle, unfortunately looks like the stereotypical dumb blonde, though of course
this is a look that many men find very sexy).

At first, Elle is emotionally crushed, but she soon decides to get Warner back by
applying to Harvard Law School herself, as a way of impressing him with how smart
she really is. In fact, Elle is extremely smart (much more so than Warner!), but
it’s also true that her bubbly "sorority personality" is very different from the
type of people who go to Harvard Law School. Still, Elle is accepted to the school,
and after a few months of struggling, she soon becomes an accomplished law student
who clearly has the potential to become an actual lawyer. On the way through Harvard,
she makes many friends, saves a wrongly accused woman from murder charges, and soon
discovers that  it is Warner who is not smart enough or good enough for her, and
certainly not the other way around.


Some Words and Expressions that You May not Know


Elle is heartbroken when Warner breaks up with her.

I heard Madonna went into labor there.
     "To go into  labor" is to give birth to a baby.

I’m not positive if it’s going to happen tonight.
:: Hello, he just had lunch with his grandmother!
     When "hello" is said with great emotion or energy, it is a way of
     expressing the opinion that the listener is being naïve or stupid.

It’s not like she fed ex’d a six carat diamond.
     "To fed ex" a package is to send it through the private Fed Ex
     mail service. If a diamond is "six carats," it is very valuable.

I can’t believe you’re getting engaged.
     To be "engaged" is to be officially planning to get married.

I don’t understand why you’re completely disregarding your signature color.
     "To disregard" something is to ignore it or not pay attention to it.
      A person’s "signature color" is the color that people associate with them.

He’s proposing—I can’t look like I went on any other date.
     If  a man "proposes" to a woman, he is asking her to marry him.

This is the date.
     Note that if "the" is pronounced "thee," it means the most important (Though here,
     Elle actually misspeaks and just says "the" with the usual pronunciation).

Bridal. But not like I’m expecting anything.
     The adjective for a bride, who is a woman about to get married.

There’s nothing I love more than a dumb blonde with daddy’s plastic.
     In this case, a reference to a credit card, which is made of plastic.

Is this low-viscosity rayon?
     "Viscosity" refers to how sticky something is, and
     "rayon" is a type of man-made material for clothing.

With half loop and top stitching on the hem?
     A sentence that only those who sew would love! A "loop" is a hole made
     by a circular piece of cloth. "Stitching" is a type of sewing, and a "hem"
     is the border of a piece of cloth.

It’s one of a kind.
     If something is "one of a kind," it is truly unique, with no others like it.

It would snag the fabric.
     "To snag" a piece of cloth is to catch, trap or accidentally
     attach to it. "Fabric" is another word for cloth.

I saw it in the June Vogue a year ago, so if you’re trying
to sell it at full price, you’ve picked the wrong girl.
     "Vogue" is a famous fashion magazine. This is Elle’s way of
     saying she knows a lot about fashion, clothes and fabrics.

This is it. In a few hours, I’ll be the future Mrs. Warner Huntington the 3rd.
     Note that when women get married, they sometimes still refer to themselves
     with their husband’s full name (though this seems a bit dated).

Here’s to us.
     "Here’s to"  is a common way of beginning a toast, in which glasses
     are raised at a formal meal in order to honor somebody or something.

I am fully amenable to that discussion.
     If a person is "amenable to" doing something, they are happy to do it.

I plan on running for office some day.
     This means to run for a political office, such as mayor or President.

If I’m going to be a Senator by the time
I’m 30, I need to stop dicking around.
     A "Senator" is a representative in the upper house of the Congress
     "To dick around" is a somewhat crude but fun phrasal verb meaning
     to waste time, or to not take things seriously enough.

Elle, pooh bear, I think we should break up.
     "Pooh bear" is a ridiculous term of endearment, like dear or sweetheart
     (Winnie the Pooh is a famous character from children’s literature that is
     a gentle bear). If a couple "break up," they decide to no longer see each
     othe, at least in a romantic way.

Proposing? Elle, if I’m going to be a Senator, then I need a Jackie, not a Marilyn.
     If a man "proposes" to his girlfriend, he asks  her to marry him.
     Jackie refers to Jackie Kennedy, and Marilyn to Marilyn Monroe
     (Warner is saying he needs a pretty but serious wife for his career).

Elle, your boobs are fine.
     A widely used slang term for breasts.

My family has five generations of Senators,
and my brother’s in the top three at Yale law.
     Yale University has one of the best law schools in the United States.
     This is all Warner’s way of saying his family has a tradition of
     succeeding in school and politics.

He just got engaged to a Vanderbilt, for Christ’s sake.
     To get "engaged" to a person is to officially declare that you plan to
     marry them. The Vanderbilts are a very rich American family who made their
     money in the 1800s. "For Christ’s sake" is a way of expressing emotion such
     as anger or frustration.

Come on, let me take you home.
     One of the most widely used phrasal verbs in English, and almost
     always used in the command form (Here, used by Warner to tell Elle
     to stop crying, or perhaps to cooperate).

Because I’m not a Vanderbilt, suddenly
I’m white trash? I grew up in Bel Air!
     "White trash" is a crude term for poor and uneducated whites, often who live in small
     towns in the Southern States of the U.S. Bel Air is a very rich suburb of Los Angeles.

I grew up across the street from Aaron Spelling! I think most people
would agree that’s a lot better than some stinky old Vanderbilt!
      Aaron Spelling is a well known Hollywood producer. This is Elle’s silly
      way of saying new, celebrity money is better than old industrial wealth
      from the 19th century (If something stinks, of course, it smells bad).

You’re gonna ruin your shoes.
     Note that "going to"---> "gonna" in rapid speech. 
     "To ruin" something is to totally destroy it.

I’ve had trouble with their whole lip liner thing.
     A type of cosmetic that is similar to lipstick.

It’s terrible. He dumped her.
     If a man "dumps" his girlfriend, he decides to break up
     with her (To dump something is to literally throw it away).

Manicures and pedicures.
     The words for putting colored paints on your fingernails and toenails.

She stuffed them in her mouth all at once.
     "To stuff" something in your mouth is to force
     it in, even if there really isn’t enough room.

We all thought she’d be the first to walk
down the aisle and now she’s totally adrift.
     "To walk down the aisle" is to get married in a church (The aisle is the
     pathway in the middle between the sets of chairs or benches). If a person
     is "adrift," they are moving aimlessly or without direction, like a piece
     of wood on the ocean.

She hasn’t conditioned her hair in like a week.
      "To condition" your hair is to wash it with hair conditioner, which makes
      it softer after it’s been shampooed. Note the use of the meaningless filler
      word "like," which some groups of people, such as girls who live in a sorority,
      tend to use way too often.

Maybe she’s going for the grunge look.
     A type of fashion in which young people intentionally looked
     dirty and poor. This was popular among the young in the early1990s.

And her nails are full on chipped. :: So trailer park.
     "Full on" is a slangy way of saying fully. If your nails are "chipped,"
     they are broken off on the edges. As an adjective, "trailer park" probably
     means poor, white and uneducated, but this is never used (A "trailer"
     is literally a home on wheels that some poor people live in).

She’ll never get him back with those cuticles.
     A type of hang nail, or skin that grows out from a nail.

No shit?! [Written]
     A crude but colloquially excellent way of saying "Really?!"

Warner’s brother, and his fiancée, Ellen Vanderbilt.
     A man’s "fiancée" is the woman they are going to marry.

What? Practically deformed?
     If a person is physically "deformed," they look horrible and abnormal,
     perhaps because their face or body has been burned or twisted.

Honey, you were first runner up at the Miss Hawaiian
Tropics contest? Why are you going to throw that all away?
      If a person is a "runner up" in a contest, they finish in second place.
      The contest in the question most likely refers to a Hawaiian beauty contest
      (The Tropics refers to small islands in the middle of a big ocean).


   Elle decides to win Warner back by following him to Harvard Law School.


Harvard is the only way I’m going to get the love of my life back.
     A very romantic way of referring to the person you are most in love with.

Law school is for people who are boring and ugly
and serious, and you, button, are none of those things.
     This is Elle’s dad’s ridiculous way of saying that she (Elle) does not have
     the right personality type for law school (This also shows most Americans
     have very conflicted views about lawyers, in that they respect them, but also
     hate them at the same time).

But that’s a top three school. :: Oh, I have a 4.0
     If a school is "top three," it is considered one of the three
     best in the country. If a person has a 4.0 grade point average (GPA),
     that means they got all A’s for their grades.

Your major is fashion merchandising. Harvard won’t
be impressed that you aced history of polka dots.
     A student’s "major" is the subject they focus on while in school (History,
     Math, etc). "Fashion merchandising" is the creation and promotion of clothes.
     "To ace" a class is to get an A in it, and "polka dots" are different sized
     dot patterns that are found on clothes, walls and other surfaces.

I don’t need back-ups. I’m going to Harvard.
     A "back-up" is an alternative if your first plan doesn’t work
     (In this case, it refers to a back-up school for Elle if Harvard
     doesn’t accept her).

You’ll need a heck of an admissions essay,
and at least a 175 on your LSATs.
     "A heck of a" is a slangy way of saying excellent or powerful. An "admissions
     essay" is a personally written letter explaining why you deserve to study at
     a certain school. The LSAT is the Law School Admissions Test, which all
     students take before applying to law school.

Trust me, I can handle everything.
     "To handle" something is to take care of it, or be able to do it.

I have a really high metabolism.
     The part of your body that burns up food and turns it into energy
     (Note it’s mispronounced here as metrabolism  , with an extra ‘r’).

My cousin had that. Apparently you get a really bad rash on your...
     A "rash" is a reddish streak or other problem on the skin.

Let’s all go! Road trip!
     A much loved expression for a long trip in a
     car, often done spontaneously or without planning.

Isn’t it hard to get into law school?  :: I had the highest GPA in Delta Nu.
     A student’s GPA is their grade point average, which refers to the grades they
     got for their classes (4.0, or all As, is the best GPA you can get). "Delta Nu"
     is the name of the sorority that Elle is in. A sorority is a group of female
     college students who lives in the same building and do many social activities
     together (for males, it is called a fraternity ).

You passed Spanish because you gave
Professor Montoya a lap dance at the final.
     A  "lap dance" is a very sexually suggestive dance, often performed close
     to naked and right above one seated person. A "final" is short for a final exam ,
     which is the most important test for a class.

As President of my sorority, I’m skilled at commanding the attention of a room.
     If a person is "skilled," they are talented. "To command attention" means to
     be so striking or interesting that people naturally focus on that person.

It’s come to my attention that the maintenance staff is switching all toilet
paper from Charmin to generic. All those opposed to chafing say "aye."
     "Maintenance staff" are responsible for cleaning and taking care of a building.
     If a product is "generic," it is not packaged as a famous brand (such as Charmin
     toilet paper), but as part of a store’s own brand (Walmart toilet paper). If skin
     "chafes," it is rubbed in such a way that it becomes red or irritated. "Aye"
     is an old English word that means yes, which is still  used to vote out loud.

I’m able to recall hundreds of important details at the drop of a hat.
     "To recall" is to remember, and to do something "at the drop of
     a hat" is to do it immediately, often without any special effort.

Do you know what happened on Days of Our Lives yesterday?
     A famous TV soap opera that is shown in the  afternoon.

As you know, she’s been brainwashed by the evil Stefano.
     "To brainwash" a person is to seduce or trick them into thinking
     in a certain way, or to believing in a certain religion or ideology.

I feel comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life.
     A word for the language or slang of a particular subculture
     (Lawyers, doctors and scientists all have their own jargon).

I object!
     A legal expression used in court to protest what has been said,
     though of course, as in this case, it more generally means to disapprove.

A fashion major? :: We’ve never had one before,
and aren’t we always looking for diversity?
     A key word in modern American culture that refers to the variation and differences
     in people lives, from their ethnic backgrounds (Asian, African-American, etc.),
     to their life experiences (Doctors, athletes, etc.)

Her list of extra-curricular activities is impressive.
     A student’s "extra-curricular activities" refers to the things they do
     outside of class (sports, clubs, volunteer projects, etc). If something is "impressive,"
     it attracts attention or has the power to excite or cause admiration or reflection.

She designed a line of faux fur panties
for her sorority’s charity project.
     "Faux fur panties" are underwear which is made of fake fur, instead of real fur
     (as a way to help protect animals who are killed for their fur). A "charity project"
     is done to raise money for a "charity," which is a non-profit organization with a
     specific social goal, such as helping poor people.

She’s a friend to the animals as well as a philanthropist.
     An educated word for a person who spends lots of time and
     money helping other people or charity organizations.

Sweetheart, you just look parched.
     If a person (or dog) is "parched," they are very dry and thirsty.

Hey Brad, check out Malibu Barbie.
     "To check out" something is to look at it. "Malibu" is a famous beach
     town by Los Angeles, and "Barbie" is the name of a very famous doll.

You know, mixes, formals, clambakes, trips to the Cape.
     "Mixes" and "formals" are ways of describing small and somewhat formal parties,
     where people dress in nice clothes. A "clambake" is like a barbecue except the
     main food is clams (similar to oysters), and the Cape refers to Cape Cod,
     which is a thin piece of land East of Boston.

Has Warner Huntington the 3rd checked in yet?
     "To check in" to a hotel is to officially register there.

No, maybe you could check with the cruise director on the Lido deck.
     A "cruise director" is responsible for ships that carry tourists from one
     port to another. A "deck" is a flat and open outdoor area for entertaining.

I have a Masters in Roman literature, a Ph.D. in biochemistry, and
for the last 18 months, I’ve been deworming orphans in Somalia.
     A Masters and Ph.D. are  advanced university degrees. "To deworm" a person
     is to eliminate the worms and parasite that are found in their stomachs.
     An "orphan" is a child without parents.

Awesome! What about you?
     A slangy adjective meaning excellent or wonderful.

A Ph.D. from Berkeley in women’s studies,
emphasis in the history of combat...
     The "emphasis" of an academic program is that area which is most
     studied. "Combat" is another word for military conflict or battles.

...and last year I single handedly organized
the march for lesbians against drunk driving.
     "To single-handedly" do something is to do it
     by yourself. A "lesbian’ is a female homosexual.

Killer. :: Thanks. Good times.
     "Killer" is a very slangy way of saying excellent, or more colloquially,
     awesome. "Good times" is a silly way of saying "that was enjoyable.’

I graduated first in my class from Princeton and I have an IQ of 187...
     Princeton is a well known university in New Jersey. "IQ" stands for
     intelligence quotient, and is seen by many people as an accurate
     description of a person’s overall intelligence.

...and it’s been suggested that Stephan Hawking stole his
Brief History of Time from my 4th grade paper. :: Cool.
     "A Brief History of Time" is a famous book, published in the late 1980s,
     that tries to explain the physics of Einstein. "Cool" is perhaps the most
     common slang word for good or excellent.

We’re both Gemini vegetarians.
     "Gemini" is one of the 12  astrological signs (along with Libra, Leo, etc)

I have a bachelor’s degree in fashion merchandising  from CULA and
I was a Delta Nu sweetheart...and last year I was homecoming queen.
     A "bachelor’s degree is the most common university degree, usually earned after
     four years of school. A "homecoming queen" is the girl who is voted the most
     beautiful at the most important dance in high school.

I saw Cameron Diez, and I talked her out
of buying this truly heinous angora sweater.
     "To talk somebody out of" doing something is to convince them not to do it.
     If something is "heinous," it is horrible or disgusting. "Angora" is a type
     of wool or fabric.

Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.
     If a person is "disturbed," they are bothered or annoyed,
     or in the right context, emotionally unstable or sick.

I’m thinking like a luau or casino night.
     A type of Hawaiian barbecue where a whole pig is cooked on the fire.

This is going to be just like senior year except funner.
     Note that the undergraduate college years are freshmen, sophomore,
     junior and senior. Also note that "more fun" is more correct than funner!


     Elle struggles with classes and discovers Warner is engaged to Vivian, but
      she also meets Paulette and Emmett, who help her through the hard times.


You will be taught to achieve insight into the world
around you, to sharply question what you know.
     "To achieve" is to accomplish and "insight" is intelligent reflection
     or wisdom. "To sharply question" a belief is to think very seriously about it.

Those of you in the front row, beware.
     An important word meaning be careful because there is danger.

The law is reason free from passion. Does anybody
know who spoke these immortal words?
     "Reason" is logic, and "passion" is strong emotion.
     If something is "immortal," it never dies.

Would you be willing to stake your life on it?
     This is to risk your life on something, on the belief that it is true.

The law leaves much room for interpretation, but very little for self-doubt.
     "Interpretation" is the act of deciding what something really means.
     "Self-doubt" is a lack of faith in your own abilities or potential.

I assume all of you are well versed in subject matter jurisdiction.
     To be "well versed in" something is to know it well. "Subject matter
     jurisdiction" is a legal term about what topics a judge can decide.

Who can tell us about Gordon vs. Steele?
     Note that in the law, cases are named for the two sides that fight each
     other, and these cases are later studied by both law students and lawyers.

Do they put you on the spot like that all the time?
     "To put  a person on the spot" is to suddenly put them under a
     lot of pressure to do something, often in front of many others.

They tend to do that. Socratic method.
     If a person "tends to" do something, they do it a lot over time. The "Socratic
     Method" is a way of teaching in which teachers ask students lots of questions.
     This method, named after Socrates, is popular in law schools.

If you don’t know the answer, they’re just going to kick you out?
     "To kick out" a person is to force them to physically leave.

Yeah, she’ll kick you right in the balls. She’s really tough.
     "Balls" is a very common word for men’s testicles. If a teacher
     is "tough," she can be very difficult and also assign a lot of work.

Speak up in Callahan’s class. He really likes people that are
opinionated. He spits when he talks about product liability.
     "To speak up" is to talk a lot, or to talk more loudly. If a person is
     "opinionated," they have lots of strong opinions about many issues and are
     not afraid to express them. "Product liability" is a legal term that refers to
     the legal responsibility of a company that makes something that later hurts others.

Make sure you read the footnotes, because that’s
where he gets a lot of his exam questions.
     A little numbered note at the bottom of the page of a book.

Are you a 3rd year?
     Note that law school lasts three years.

This horrible preppy girl who tried to make me
look bad in front of the professor. No biggie.
     If a person is "preppy," they went to a preparatory school for college,
     and are often seen as rich, conservative and as very serious students.

I’m sorry. I just hallucinated. What?
     "To hallucinate" is to see things that don’t really exist
     (People who take drugs like LSD will often hallucinate).

You can’t even imagine! :: Spill!
     "To spill" a liquid means to let it accidentally fall out of its container,
     but in this case, it is short for "spill your emotions," which  means to let
     your anger, frustration and tears out in public.

I blew off Greek week just to study LSATs.
     "To blow off" something is a very slangy way of saying to decide to not take
     part in it. At colleges, "Greek Week" refers to the week when the school’s
     fraternities and sororities try to get students to join them.

He’s engaged to this awful girl, Vivian.
     A strong adjective for horrible or perhaps disgusting.

She’s got this six carat Harvey Winston on her bony, unpolished finger.
     A "six caret Harvey Winston" is a type of expensive diamond ring.
     If a finger is "bony," it is all bone and no muscle, and thus looks way
     too skinny. If a finger nail is "unpolished," it doesn’t have any cosmetic
     or coating on it.

Dewey kept the trailer and my precious baby, Rufus.
    A cheap pre-fabricated house that can be pulled by a truck.

He’s a guy who followed his pecker to greener pastures, and I’m a middle
aged high school drop out whose got stretch marks and a fat ass.
     A "pecker" is a silly slang word for a penis (to peck is to poke or stick).
     If a person is looking for "greener pastures," they’re looking for something
     better (A "pasture" is an open field or prairie). A "high school drop out" is
     a student who never finished school, and "stretch marks" are unpleasant scars
     or markings on your skin, often caused by tearing.

What’s Vivian got that you don’t have? Three tits?
     A crude word for females breasts (Boobs is a safer choice).

She belongs to his stupid country club.
     Generally speaking, a club where rich people play golf and tennis.

She could use some mascara and some serious highlights,
but she’s not completely unfortunate looking.
     "Mascara" and "highlights" are types of cosmetics or makeup.

Could I have been any more goddamn spastic looking?
     "Goddamn" is a crude and common filler word to express anger, frustration
     and other emotions. "Spastic" means shaking or moving violently, or in an
     uncontrolled fashion. 

If a girl like you can’t hold on to her man, then there
sure as hell isn’t any hope for the rest of us.
     "Sure as hell" is a slangy way of saying certainly or surely.

Steal the bastard back.
     A crude but common word for a mean, abusive or horrible man.

You will also be competing for one of my firm’s highly contested four
internship spots next year, where you’ll get to assist on actual cases.
     "To compete" against another person is to try and beat them in achieving
     a goal. A "law firm" is a group of lawyers who are in business together.
     If a position is "highly contested," many people are trying to get it.
     An "internship" is a temporary job, often unpaid, where people are trained or
     taught in different skills and activities. A "case" is a trial in court.

Let the bloodbath begin.
     A violent and bloody fight or battle, often where many are killed.

Let’s commence with our usual torture.
     Another way of saying "to begin."

Ms Woods, would you rather have a client who
committed a crime malum en se or malum prohibitum?
     Note that the correct verb is "to commit" a crime (to do it). In the law,
     many words are still used from Latin (The Latin phrases above have
     to do with the nature of crimes and criminal intent).

Dare to dream, Ms. Woods.
     A way of telling a person they should imagine the best possible future.

The client would have committed a regulatory
infraction as opposed to a dangerous crime.
     A "client" is a person who pays a lawyer for their services. A "regulatory
     infraction" is a the breaking or violating of a regulation, which is a very
     specific law passed by a specialized agency (such as when a food company adds
     more alcohol to a product than is allowed).

I’m not afraid of a challenge.
     Any job, task or goal that will be difficult to achieve or accomplish.

I’ve come to join your study group. And look, I’ve brought sustenance.
     A "study group" is a small group of students who agree to study together.
    "Sustenance" is a formal word for the minimum amount of food and water that
     is required to keep a person alive.

Is this like an RSVP thing? :: No, it’s like a smart people thing.
     An abbreviation which means you should respond yes or no to a specific invitation.
     Note the overuse of the of the word ‘thing,’ often said in a humorous manner.

We’ve already assigned the outlines.
     "To assign" something is to give it out as a job. In law
     school, "outlines" are summaries of specific areas of law.

If you had come to a rush party, I would have at least been nice to you.
    A "rush party" is a party at fraternities and sororities
    where new students decide if they want to join.

Is that before you voted against me
and called me a dyke behind my back?
     A crude word for a lesbian or female homosexual.

I miss you guys too. The people here are so vile.
     A very crude and insulting word for disgusting or horrible.

I got bangs. My hair is so now.
     "Bangs" are a type of hair style, cut at a different length than the
     rest of your hair. In this case, "now" is used to mean fashionable.

Keep June 1st open; You’re one of my bride’s maids.
     To keep a date open" is to keep  it free for a specific purpose. A "bride’s maid"
     is one of a few female friends of the bride who have official roles or duties
     at the wedding.

Don’t forget to bring your own Merlot.
     A type of wine.

I like your outfit too, except when I dress up
as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.
     An "outfit" is another word for a costume or set of clothing. If a women
     is "frigid," she is unable to become sexually excited, or more generally,
     she is cold. A "bitch" is a very crude word for a mean or abusive woman.
     If a person is "constipated," they are unable to go to the bathroom because
     they are physically plugged up.


               Elle uses her legal knowledge to get Paulette back her
               dog, and then becomes an intern for Professor Callahan,
                   who is defending a woman that Elle knows well.


The English language is all about subliminal domination.
     "Subliminal" is another word for subconscious,
     or just below the level of consciousness.

The word semester is...a perfect example of this
school’s discriminatory preferences of semen to ovaries.
     A "semester" is a set of time that school years are divided into, often
     lasting about 20 weeks. If a policy is "discriminatory," it favors one group
     of people over another. "Semen" is the liquid that men have to carry their sperm,
     and "ovaries" are the sexual organs that develop eggs in women.

That’s why I’m petitioning to have the
next one referred to as the winter ovester.
      "To petition" is to officially request something from another person or
      organization. "Ovester" is a silly word that doesn’t exist, which looks more
      feminine than semester.

Don’t you look like a walking felony?
     A "felony" is a serious crime for which you can be sent to prison.

What’s with the costume? I just decided to dress up.
      "What’s with...?" is a slangy way of asking a person why they
      are doing something, or perhaps why something unusual is happening.

I’m so busy with those case studies and hypos.
      In law school, "case studies" are summaries of important cases or trials,
      and "hypos" are made up facts that students discuss in order to analyze
      how the law would be applied in such cases.

Am I on glue, or did we not get into the same law school?
      To  be "on" an illegal drug such as marijuana is to be under its influence.
      Unfortunately, "glue," which is a white sticky substance, is sometimes
      sniffed by people in order to get high or stoned, the way people use marijuana.
      Unlike marijuana, it probably causes immediate brain damage.

I’ll show you how valuable Elle Woods can be!
     If something is "valuable," it is worth a lot.

So, you’ve filed a claim.
     In law, "to file a claim" is to officially sue somebody in a court.

You need reasonable belief that your claim
should have, like evidentiary support.
      Note that much of law school is actually spent debating what the word
      "reasonable" means (which literally means logical or not extreme, but that
      doesn’t help when actually applied to real world situations!) A "claim" is
      a formal belief or charge. "Evidence" is anything, from blood samples to
      photographs, that tends to prove the truth of a statement or claim.

Corrupt cops who are wheeling and dealing.
      If a government official is "corrupt," they are willing to take bribes
      or accept gifts of money for illegal favors. A "cop" is a very common word
      for a policeman. If a person is "wheeling and dealing," they are constantly
      negotiating or trying to make money by making different types of deals.

And the purpose of diminished capacity is? :: To negate mens rea.
     "Diminished capacity" refers to the reduced ability of a person to know
     what they are actually doing (Mens rea is a Latin term for intention).

I’m Miss Bonifonte’s attorney, and I’m here to
discuss the legal situation at hand. :: Come again?
     If something is "at hand," it is right there, or in the present. 
     "Come again" is a way of saying you didn’t understand what was just said.

Due to habeas corpus, you and Miss Bonifonte had a common
law marriage, which, heretofore, entitles her to do...
     "Habeas corpus" is a famous Latin legal term which refers to the right of a
     person not to be held in jail without being charged with a crime (And it has
     nothing to do with anything Elle is saying here!). A "common law marriage" is
     one in which a couple live together so long as if they were married that the
     state considers them legally married, even though they never formally got married.
     "Heretofore" means previously or before, and if a person is "entitled" to
     something, they deserve it.

...what is legally referred to an equitable division of the assets.
     If something is divided "equitably," it is shared fairly or justly.
     "Assets" is an important legal word that refers to anything
     of value, from money to stocks to jewelry to houses.

Due to the fact that you’ve retained this residence, Miss Bonifonte
is entitled to full canine property ownership right now.
     "Due to" is one way of saying because. "To retain" something is to keep it, and
     a residence is a building, such as a house, in which a person lives. "Canine"
     is an adjective that refers to dogs.

I’m taking the dog, dumbass.
     An excellent and crude insult word for a jerk, idiot, moron, etc...

That’s awesome; We did it!
     A popular word among the young that means excellent,
     great, or more colloquially, very cool.

He’s still scratching his head! :: Which
must be a nice vacation for his balls.
     If a person is "scratching their head," they are probably trying to understand
     something that just happened, that makes no sense to them. A man’s "balls" are
     his testicles. This is a very funny line.

Swimney, who was a private sperm donor, was allowed visitation rights
as long as he came to terms with the hours set forth by the parents.
     A "sperm donor" is a man who lets his sperm be used to get women pregnant
     that he doesn’t even know. A divorced parent’s "visitation rights" are the
     rights they have, given by a judge, to visit with their children. "To come to
     terms" with something is to accept it, and "to set forth" a policy is to
     officially announce or declare it.

If we’re sticking to past precedent, Mr. Latins wasn’t stalking.
     "Past precedent" is a legal term that refers to what judges in past cases
     have decided about how the law is applied in certain situations. "To stalk" a
     person is to harass them by always spying on and trying to be physically close to them.

Our defendant was an habitual sperm donor, who also happens
to be harassing the parents in his quest for visitation.
     A "defendant" is a person charged with a crime. If a person’s behavior is
     "habitual," they do it all the time, over and over. "To harass" a person is
     to bother or annoy them consistently. A person’s "quest" is the act of looking
     for or seeking something, and in this context, "visitation" is the right to
     visit with your biological children.

I have to wonder if the defendant kept a thorough record
of every sperm emission made throughout his life.
     "Thorough" means complete, and an "emission" is anything that sprays or
     shoots out into general circulation (Here, a reference to semen).

Unless the defendant attempted to contact every single one night stand
in an attempt to determine if a child resulted in these unions...
     A "one night stand" is the act of having sex with a person,
     often who you just met, and then never seeing them again.

...he has no parental claim over this child whatsoever.
     A "parental claim" is a legal argument for saying you have the right to
     raise the child as your own. "Whatsoever" is a way of saying not at all.

For that matter, all masturbatory emissions where his sperm was
clearly not seeking an egg could be termed reckless abandonment.
     "For that matter" is a way of saying ‘in fact’, and "masturbatory emissions"
     is a ridiculous way of referring to semen that comes out of a man when he
     masturbates. "To term" a word is to define it, and "reckless abandonment"
     is a legal expression that refers to the act of a parent irresponsibly
     leaving their children to try and survive on their own.

Do you have a resume?
     A summary of a person’s past job experience, as well as their education,
     specific skills  and other facts that would be of interest to an employer.

It’s pink and it’s scented. I think it gives it a little something extra.
     If something is "scented," it is usually treated in such a way that
     it smells like perfume. "A little something extra" is often anything
     that makes it stand  out and be noticed more easily than the competition.

That lapse in judgement aside, I think she’s got a lot of potential.
     A "lapse in judgement" is the act of doing something foolish or dangerous
     without thinking about the possible negative results. "Aside" is a short
     way of saying "put that to the side and don’t even think about it."
     "Potential" is a critical word that means existing in real possibility.

Here’s the Windham file.
     In the context of an office, a "file" is group of
     papers that are put together on a single topic.

His case load is so big, he’s taking in first year interns.
     A lawyer’s "case load" is the amount of work they have to do, often in the form
     of cases or trials they must work on. An "intern" is a student or other young
     person who works at an internship, often for a year or less, in order to get
     professional training.

Remember when we spent those four amazing
hours in a hot tub after the winter formal?
     A "hot tub" is a large bath that can fit several people, used for relaxing
     in hot water.  A "winter formal" is a  formal school dance where the students
     dress up in fine clothes. 

We’re defending Brooke Windham, whose very wealthy husband was
found shot to death in her Beacon Hills mansion. :: Gold digger?
     If a person is "wealthy," they have lots of money. A "gold digger" is a
     very negative expression for a person who becomes close to, or even marries,
     somebody else, so that they can get their money.

You’d think so since the stiff was 60, but she was rich on her own.
     A "stiff" is a crude term for a dead body
     (As an adjective, stiff is the opposite of flexible).

Some kind of fitness empire. You can buy her exercise tapes on infomercials.
"Fitness" refers to the practice of staying in good physical shape.
     Note that an "empire" can refer to the control of large areas of the world
     by one country, or, in this case, a successful business. An "infomercial"
     is a long commercial, often over 30 minutes, that is made in such a way
     that people view it as a regular TV show for entertainment.

Maiden name, Taylor. :: You know her?
     A woman’s maiden name is the family name that she had before she got married.

She’s a Delta Nu. She wasn’t in my pledge class.
     In a sorority, a "pledge class" refers to all the
     girls who joined it in a particular year.

She’s completely gifted. :: In all likelihood, she’s completely guilty as well.
     If a person is "gifted," they are extremely skilled or talented in a
     particular field. "In all likelihood" is a way of saying probably or most likely.

This is Emmett Richmond, another associate. Top three
in his class, and former editor of Harvard Law Review.
     An "associate" in a law firm is usually a lawyer who is working full time,
     but does not have a leadership or directing role. Note that all major law schools
     publish a "Law Review," which is an academic journal about developments in the law,
     that is edited by students at that school.

You’ve probably seen him lurking around campus doing my research.
     "To lurk" is to stay a long time in an area, waiting, passing time, and hoping
     not to get noticed. A "campus" is the physical area of a school.

The coroner said he’d been dead 30 minutes when the
cops arrived, giving Brooke plenty of time to stash it.
     A "coroner’ is a person who examines dead bodies. "Cops" are policemen,
     and "to stash" a gun is to hide it in a secret place.

Exercise gives you endorphins, endorphins make you
happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands.
     "Endorphins" are a chemical in the blood that gives you energy.


       Elle works on the defense for Brooke, convinced that she is innocent.


I went down to check his heart, screamed my
head off, and Enrique and Chutney came inside.
     If you "scream your head off," you’re probably
     screaming so loudly that people far away can hear you.

Why would I kill my husband?  :: Insurance, a love affair, pure
unadulterated hatred. The DA will come up with plenty of reasons.
     "Unadulterated" is a powerful adjective meaning pure and complete. A "DA" is a
     district attorney, the lawyer for the government that is responsible for prosecuting
     accused criminals. "To come up with" something is create it or think of it.

He was 30 years older than you. That doesn’t look so good to a jury.
:: Show them a picture of his dick. That might clear up a few things.
     A "jury" is the group of people at a trial who decide if an accused criminal
     is guilty. A "dick" is a slang word for a penis, and "to clear up" a story is
     to make it clear, or at least make it less confusing.

I believe you, but a jury is going to want an alibi.
     An important legal word for a claim or explanation
     of having been elsewhere  when a crime was committed.

If you put me on the stand, I’ll lie.
     In this context, the "stand" is the chair from where
     a person testifies or is questioned, during a trial.

I’m a Delta Nu, and I’m a huge fan of yours.
     Another word for extremely big.