肥佬教授 The Nutty Professor

The Nutty Professor
(Comedy) (1996)
 

Major Characters

Sherman Klump/Buddy Love..................Eddie Murphy
     Sherman is a shy, lonely, loveable and very fat Professor of Genetics at
     Wellman University who is so desperate to be thin that he starts to take
     a powerful drug that he has invented. The drug turns him into Buddy,
     who is thin, but also sexist, overly confident and obnoxious.

Carla Purty...............................Jada Pinkett
     A beautiful and sweet graduate student who is teaching a chemistry class.
     She admires   Sherman, and then becomes attracted to Buddy, without
     realizing they’re the same person.

Dean Richmond.............................Larry Miller
      The Dean (head) of Wellman University who strongly dislikes
      Sherman and who is obsessed with raising money for the school.

Harlan Hartley............................James Coburn
     A rich alumni (former student) who is considering
     giving $10,000,000 to the school as a gift.

Reggie Warrington.........................David Chappelle
     A nightclub comic who is perhaps funny, but also mean and abusive.

Jason.....................................John Ales
     A graduate student and loyal laboratory assistant to Sherman.

The Klumps  (Mama/Papa/Grandma/Ernie).....Eddie Murphy
     Sherman’s wonderful, animated, loving, crude and ridiculous
     family, all of whom, amazingly, are also played by Eddie Murphy!


Plot Summary

This film is the story of Sherman Klump, a very sweet and shy Professor of
Genetics (the study of biological material that is passed from one generation
to the next). Sherman is very overweight, and after he meets the beautiful graduate
student Carla Purty, he decides he must become thin if there is any chance for him
to get Carla romantically interested in him. The good news for Sherman is that a
powerful drug he invented makes people instantly lose lots of weight (just like it
did on laboratory animals), and thus he becomes as thin as he could ever want to be.
The bad news is that it also turns Sherman into "Buddy,"  a sexist and obnoxious guy,
and the worst news of all is that the drug doesn’t last very long, and thus Buddy
suddenly turns back into the overweight Sherman at very unpredictable and
inappropriate times.

Despite Buddy’s personality , Carla becomes attracted to him, and thus Sherman
continues to take the drug in order to be with her. In fact, Sherman and Buddy look
so different that Carla doesn’t realize that they’re the same person, but of course,
there are great  difficulties in trying to be two totally different people at the
same time. In the long run,  Sherman must face the fact that his wonder drug is far
from perfect, and that if  he wants to win Carla’s heart, it will have to be as the
shy and loveable person that he truly is.


Some Words and Expressions that You May not Know


            Sherman meets Dean Richards and promises to behave well,
       so that Wellman’s rich alumni will continue to give to the school.


Macho man [Song]
     "Macho" is a popular Spanish word for very masculine or manly.

Don’t you feel like a pony when you sweat?
     A young or baby horse.

I’m voguing! You can vogue!
     A ridiculous and rarely used slang verb that is used to
     describe the act of imitating beautiful fashion models.

I’m going to have an aneurysm! My calves are burning!
     "An aneurysm" is a dangerous blood clot or stoppage in
     the brain. A "calf" is the part of the leg above the knee.

We’re in the vanguard of research.
     If a university is in the "vanguard of research," they are studying things
     that others  have not yet studied or researched, but that will prove to be
     very important in the future.

This is the most peculiar thing, because I
distinctly remember locking up last night.
     If something is "peculiar," it is strange or bizarre, and often
     very unexpected. "Distinctly" is an adverb that means specifically.

I locked those cages and picked up my portfolio.
     A portfolio is a type of  flexible case for carrying loose papers.

I must have grazed the switch.
     "To graze" something is to touch it lightly in passing (And for cows,
     it is to eat grass). A "switch" is a device for turning things on and off.

I’ll tend to Shelly.
     In this case, to "tend to" a person (or animal) is to take care of them.

How are you, my little powder puff?
     A sweet but ridiculous term of affection.

She’s lost three ounces since the last feed.
     An "ounce" is 1/16th of a pound. Though rare,  "feed" can be a noun.

Her entire molecular structure has been realigned.
     "Molecular structure" is a scientific concept for the way molecules
     (groups of atoms) are put together. If something is "realigned,"
     it is rebuilt, or arranged in a different way.

This new formula...has actually reconstructed Shelly’s DNA.
     Here, a "formula" is  mixture of various ingredients to form a drug.
     "DNA" is a key concept in genetics, and the building blocks of all life.

What if we upped the dosage?
     "To "up" something is to increase it, and "dosage" is the amount of a drug
     that a person is supposed to take (usually prescribed by a doctor).

One step at a time; We don’t want to jeopardize Shelly.
     "To jeopardize" a person (or animal) is to put them in danger.

We’re trying to win a grant here. As Arsenio would say, "Let’s get busy."
     A "grant" is a gift of money, often by a rich institution
     or person to help a school or person carry out research.

Comfy? :: Quite.
     "Comfy" is a short way of saying comfortable, and in
     this context, "quite" means very or pretty much.

Anything I can get you? Juice? Coffee? Rack of lamb?
     A very large piece of meat that is often served for celebrations.

She’s a lovely woman who so generously donates
money to help fund our science department.
     A useful word for pretty or attractive (More British than American).

Gerbils are more streamlined and hamsters have a tendency to be fluffier.
     A "gerbil" is a small animal that is often used in science laboratories.
     If something is "streamlined, " it is thin or sleek. A "hamster" is another
     small animal that is widely used in labs. If certain animals have a "tendency
     to" be a certain way, they are often that way. If an animal is "fluffy," it
     is covered with lots of light fur.

The male hamster’s scrotum has a tendency
to be disproportionally...never mind...
     The "scrotum" is the sac that contains the testicles (balls) in males.
     If something is "disproportional," it is not the right or correct size
     compared to something else. "Never mind" means forget it.

The National Rifle people are right. If I had one now, bang...
     "The National Rifle Association" is  a large group of gun-owners.
     "Bang" is the sound that an explosion or a shooting gun makes.

What Mrs. Vidivox witnessed was 5,000 healthy hamsters
bred from a genetically deficient hereditary line.
     "To witness" something is to observe or see it. "To breed" animals
     (past participle is bred) is to arrange for them to reproduce. A "genetically
     deficient hereditary line" is a scientific way of saying parents or ancestors
     that had serious biological or medical problems.

Listen to me carefully, you fat tub of goo...
     "Goo" is any type of thick liquid or sticky substance.

For years, you’ve single handedly alienated every wealthy donor we’ve had.
     "To alienate" a person is to drive them away or perhaps to make
     them angry. A "wealthy donor" is a rich person who gives money.

Air conditioning schools are outdrawing us. We’ve
lost so much money, red is our school color.
     In this case, "to outdraw" another school is to raise more money.
     "Red" is a color associated with debt and lack of money.

Inner city schools have better computers
than we do; Bosnia wants to give us money.
     If schools are in the "inner city," they are often thought to be very poor.
     Bosnia is a part of the former Yugoslavia badly hurt by Civil War.

Hartley is the last rich alumnus that we got.
     An "alumnus" is a former student of a particular school.

I’ll let you know how to handle it.
     In this context, "to handle" something is to take care of it.


             Sherman meets Carla at school, and then
            goes home to a nice Klump family meal.


Of all the equations you’ll learn during the course of
your studies here, this equation shall be the most helpful.
     An "equation" is a mathematical statement or formula, such as F=MA.

The equation fundamentally breaks down what DNA is composed of...
      If an equation "breaks down" a substance, it shows what the individual
      ingredients are that are necessary to make it. If a substance is "composed of"
      certain ingredients, it is made from them.

I haven’t really messed myself. I mean, I haven’t
messed myself. I messed my shirt up.
     "To mess up" a shirt is to damage it (Generally, one
     never really "messes oneself," as Klump uses it here).

There’s a pop quiz on Wednesday.
     A small test that some teachers love to give.

It makes the table look more festive and the kids enjoy it.
      If something looks "festive," it looks cheerful or perhaps part of a celebration.

I’m between classes and I got a minute to chat.
     "To chat" is to talk casually, or in a familiar or informal style.

I’m a grad student and I’m teaching my
first intro chemistry class across the hall.
     A "grad student" is a student who is getting an advanced degree, such as
     an MA or a Ph.D. "Intro" is short for introductory, or beginning.

I’m fatter, uh, flattered you’ve been following my work the way you have.
     If a person is "flattered" by something positive that someone else
     has said about them, they feel good about it or are appreciative.

She’s fine.
     In some contexts, "fine"  is a very slangy way of saying sexy or good looking.

This is so fabulous. Ain’t nothing like getting
together with family and having a good meal.
     A nice alternative to wonderful or fantastic (Note that
     ‘ain’t’ is very ungrammatical and should be avoided).

You know mashed potatoes give me gas.
     In this context, "gas" is the intestinal gas from
     your stomach after you eat the wrong food.

I’ll kick yo ass.
     "To kick a person’s ass" is to attack them or beat them up
     (In Black English, "your" is often pronounced "yo").

Hey, you’re supposed to eat that thing, not scalp it.
     "To scalp" a person is to remove their hair or possibly skin.

Daddy, all the calories in the chicken are found in the skin.
     "Calories" are the units of energy found in food
     (If you eat too many, you get fat).

You know where that comes from?  That damn TV.
     A filler adjective used to express anger, frustration or other emotion.

Everybody looking all anorexic, talking about that’s healthy.
     If a person is "anorexic,"  they suffer from anorexia, a mental disease
     in which they refuse to eat because they are desperate to stay thin.

She gone lose her weight. Wasn’t nothing wrong
with her. She was fine; Oprah was a fox!
     Oprah is a very famous African-American talk show host, and a "fox" is a
     slang word for a sexy woman (Note the grammatical variations in Black English here).

And Luther Van Dross; Nigger used to be the black
Pavarotti. Lost all that weight, looking all ashy.
     Van Dross is a famous black singer, and Pavarotti is a world famous Italian
     opera singer. Note that "nigger" is a horrible racist slur, but that many black
     people use it casually among themselves (You should avoid saying it). If a person
     looks "ashy," they look sickly (like ashes), but this is rarely if ever used.

I seen Oprah on Hardcopy last week. Was the picture of health.
     "Hardcopy" was a popular TV show on the entertainment business. If a person
      is "the picture of health," they are very healthy and energetic.

Letterman, Leno, Montell, Ricky Lake. :: I like Geraldo.
     All of these people are well known TV talk show hosts.

You know, Mike Douglas used to make me moist when I’d watch his show.
     Mike Douglas was a talk show host in the 1970s. "Moist" means  wet or perhaps
     juicy and is often used for food, but here it is used as a completely ridiculous
     way of saying sexually excited (for a woman).

I would like to volunteer to put this old bird out of his misery. ::
Don’t you dare say something like that about Mama!
     "To put a person (or animal) out of their misery" is to gently kill them as
     an act of kindness. "Don’t you dare…" is a strong way of telling a person
     not to do something because they have no right to do it.

You’ll walk over, but you’re limping back.
     "To limp" is to walk with great difficulty or with only one strong leg.

Your problem is you did work out!
     "To work out" is to exercise in order to stay healthy.

He’s a little Hercules.
     A famous Greek God who is known for being super strong.

Once you work out, your metabolism starts to speed up.
     A person’s "metabolism" is the biological system in the body that absorbs
     food and burns off fat (If it is fast, it is easier to stay thin).

Recent studies have shown that certain people
are genetically predisposed to gain weight.
     If a person is "genetically predisposed" to be a certain way (such as fat),
     they are born with the genes that make it likely they will be that way.

All I’m saying is scientific breakthroughs are occurring all the time. 
     A "breakthrough" is a great discovery or advance that can lead to a
     new drug or some other kind of technological or social improvement.

The only thing about to break through
is your ass,  through the seat of your pants.
     "To break through" means to penetrate or cut through a material.

I’m thinking about getting an appointment
and getting my colon cleansed thoroughly.
     An "appointment" is a meeting with a professional, such as a doctor.
     A person’s "colon" is a part of their intestine or stomach that stores
     food before it is omitted (through the anus). "To cleanse" is to clean,
     and "thoroughly" is an adverb meaning completely.

Now my colon is clean. Squeaky clean.
     If something is "squeaky clean," it is so clean that it makes a squeaking
     sound when you touch or rub it (Of course, this usually is used for
     something like a plate or counter top, and not a colon!)

Don’t break gas and destroy our meal.
     "To break gas" (more commonly to pass wind) is an
     unpleasant little phrasal verb meaning to fart.

What do you think a colonic is?
     A medical procedure in which a narrow tube is inserted in a
     person’s anus in order to clean their colon. Isn’t that fascinating?

I’ll toss this between the crack of your ass.
     "To toss" something is to throw it.

When the good Lord made you, he made you beautiful inside and out.
     "The Good Lord" is an affectionate way of referring to God.

Get your lazy ass up!  ::  Mind your own damn business!
     A strong way of telling a person to stop trying to find out personal
     information about you (The filler adjective ‘damn’ shows anger).


              Sherman finds the courage to ask Carla out,
          but their date is soon ruined by Reggie the Comic.


You caught me in the middle of a little step aerobics.
     "Step aerobics" are a type of exercise in which people quickly
     move up and down steps in order to sweat and lose weight.

I looked your address up in the faculty directory; I hope you don’t mind.
     A "faculty directory" is a book that has the addresses and
     phone numbers of all the teachers and other staff at a school.

I was wondering if...if you planned on going out to get something anyway...
and on an occasion like that you didn’t want to do that alone...
     "I was wondering if..." is the safest way to begin a sentence where
     you want to ask a person out on a date, especially if you’re shy!

Professor, are you asking me out on a date?
     A meeting or get-together between people that may have
     the possibility of turning into a romantic relationship.

Screaming is good for you. It clears the epiglottis.
     "To scream" is to yell or shout (and here, "The Scream" is the name
     of a club). An "epiglottis" is a thin plate in the back of the throat.

Get all the phlegm and mucus down. That’s disgusting!
     "Phlegm" and "mucus" are two words for the wet and slippery
     secretions found in the nose, throat and other parts of the body.

It will be a scream at The Scream.
     If something is "a scream," it is very enjoyable or fun. Very slangy.

You’re not pathetic! :: People, pounds do not lose themselves!
      "Pathetic" is an excellent adjective meaning completely pitiful or so poor
      or bad in some way that it’s embarrassing. The second sentence is a way of
      saying that it’s hard work to lose weight.

Quiet down, god damn it!
     A vulgar expression to show anger.

Maybe you should try Jenny Craig.
     The name of a company (named after a person)
     that sells food in order to help people lose weight.

Professor K, how’s it going?
     Note that some students call their professors
     (or other people) by the first initial of their last name.

So you actually altered her genes?  :: Yes, and if I hadn’t
done it, Shelly would be in hamster heaven right now.
     "To alter" something is to change or modify it. "Genes"
     are the biological code that all living things are made of.

Sherman, you are absolutely amazing.  :: Well, we do what
we can. Got to keep on trying, got to keep on pushing.
     "Amazing" is an excellent alternative to incredible. The second sentence
     is Klump’s way of saying you must constantly try to do well.

You all give it up for my man Reggie Washington!
     "You all" (often pronounced "y’all")  is a colloquial way of saying all of you.
     In a night club, "give it up" is a way of asking the audience to applaud or cheer.

He sure is animated.
     An interesting adjective meaning energetic or highly spirited

What’s up?! Woman be shopping. Look as her head full of curly fries.
     "What’s up" is a very common way to greet a person and to ask them what
     new in their life. Note the grammar of Black English in the second sentence.
     "Curly fries" are  French fries, shaped in a spiral.

Look at this white dude, right here. What is a weave exactly?
     "Dude" is a very slangy word for a guy. A "weave" is a type of sewing
     pattern or style (Reggie is making fun of how white people speak).

She’s got more extensions than ATT.
     An "extension" is  both an additional added piece to a wire or rope
     or in the context of phones, an outlet for an additional phone number,
     as well as a type of tightly bound hair style. ATT is a big phone company.

Excuse me, I’m going to go to the restroom.
     A common way to say bathroom.

It’s a full moon tonight! I think I found where
they hid Jimmy Hoffa! :: That’s a good one.
     Jimmy Hoffa is a labor leader killed by gangsters in the 1970s,
     but his body was never found. "A good one" is how to refer to a funny joke.

You got more crack than Harlem.
     Another play on words. "Crack" can be both a dangerous form of cocaine,
     and a reference to the space between a person’s butt cheeks. Harlem is
     a famous African-American area of New York City.

Got to put his belt on with a boomerang.
     A device that flies back to where it was thrown from.

Who is sucking whose titties over here?
     A silly and rarely used slang word for female breasts (though here
     Reggie is saying that Sherman is so fat that he has breasts too).

Last time this brother felt a breast,
it was in a bucket of KFC. Extra crispy.
     Note that some black people refer to other black men as  brother. A "bucket
     of KFC" is a container of Kentucky Fried Chicken, and if it is "extra crispy,"
     it is well cooked so that the skin is crunchy.

He must be on that new diet. Slim slow.
     "Slim" is thin, and "Slim Fast" is the name of a diet drink.

Now we know what’s eating Gilbert Grape, don’t we?
     "What’s eating Gilbert Grape?" is the name of a movie about a very
     fat family (If something is "eating you," it is really bothering you).

Sherman, you are a brilliant man. :: You have a pleasant evening.
     "Brilliant" is an excellent adjective meaning extremely smart or talented.

His fraternity was having this thing called Pig Day.
     A "fraternity" is a group of male college students who live together and
     often take part in silly activities like drinking as much as possible.

I want him prepped immediately. Give me four CCs of ambethol.
     In a hospital, "to prep" a person is to prepare them for surgery, a "CC" is a
     unit of measurement for a drug, and "ambethol" is a type of drug.

Blood pressure 180 over 110 and still climbing.
     Blood pressure is measured by noting one number over another (120 over 80
     is closer to normal---180 over 110 is very high!). If a number is "climbing,"
     it is going up (the way a person climbs a hill).

What’s the status? ::  He’s getting fatter; We can’t stop it!
     The "status" of a situation is the condition or important facts surrounding it.

Hey everyone, run for the hills! It’s Fatzilla!
    A silly play on words; The classic Japanese monster movie is called Godzilla.

Oh my God, he’s going to blow.  :: Way to go, that’s my boy!
     In this case, "to blow" means to explode or blow up. If a person says "way to go,"
     they are telling you that you’ve done a good job or accomplished something of value.


              Sherman discovers his miracle drug makes humans thin,
        and soon Buddy shows Carla how to get revenge against Reggie.


Shelly, you’ve been the guinea pig long enough.
     It’s time to see if this stuff really works. A "guinea pig" is a cute little
     animal that is very often used in laboratories for various experiments.
     "Stuff" is an over used word to refer to things in general.

I don’t have breasts! I’m an A-cup! I don’t need a bra anymore!
     An "A-cup" is a small size for a bra. A "bra" is a piece
     of clothing that is used to support or hold up female breasts.

My ass is gone! I’m slim, slim, slim!
     Another word for thin. It has a positive connotation, unlike skinny!

I’ll be damned! I can see my dick!
     The first sentence is a somewhat old-fashioned and colloquial way to express
     great surprise or disbelief. A "dick" is a slangy word for a penis.

I am the stair master!  I can do stairs!
     A "stair master" is an exercise machine that is popular for
     losing weight ("To master" a skill is to become an expert at it).

Where’s the spandex section?
     A type of material that is found in tight or elastic clothing.

Isn’t that like Sherman to hog
all the credit? I’m Sherman’s confidante.
    "To hog the credit" for something positive is to claim that you are the
     person who is responsible for having done it, even if others contributed
     to it. A "confidante" is a person who you put great trust in.

Oh, Miss Purty, he tore his chunky ass off.
     A "chunky" person is chubby or overweight.

No matter what, you’ve got to suck in your gut and strut.
     A person’s "gut" is their stomach, and "to strut" is to walk
     with a proud or overly confidant style, like certain big birds.

You know, you’re just too feisty and a little too fine.
     A person who is "feisty" is filled with nervous energy, assertiveness or defiance.

You and me need to hook up...We need to go to The Scream
tonight and strut our respective stuff together.
     In this case, "to hook up" is to get together, perhaps for a romantic or
     sexual relationship, and "to strut our respective stuff" is Buddy’s very slangy
     way of saying that he and Carla should show off their talents and good looks.

Hey buddy, what the hell happened here?
     A common filler expression that is added to WH
     questions to show emotion such as anger or frustration.

The professor must have got a little carried away last night.
     If a person "gets carried away" doing something, they get too emotional,
     or determined, and go well beyond what is necessary or advisable.

Please thank your wife Claire for bringing that
upside-down cake for him. He ate every crumb of it.
     "Upside-down cake" is a type of dessert that is very fattening!
     A "crumb" is a very small piece of bread or other type of food.

Can you have someone from janitorial clean up this mess please?
     A "janitor" is a person who cleans public places like schools and office
     buildings (They usually work in the janitorial department). In this case, a "mess"
     is a dirty, soiled or cluttered area (The adjective is messy).

People have a tendency in life to always want to rush into things.
     If people have a "tendency to" do something, they are likely to do it.

You students just review what we went over yesterday.
     "To review" a school subject is to  study it again. "To go over" a subject
     is to either study it or discuss it with others, often in a classroom.

Buddy Love; He’s quite a character, huh?
     If a person is "quite a character," they are extremely different, unusual or
     even strange (A character is also a person in a film, play or novel).

He asked me out and he said it was your idea.
     "To ask out" a person is to see if they would like to go out on a date,
     such as dinner or a film,  which could lead to a romantic relationship,

Did you find him attractive?
     A useful adjective meaning pretty or handsome.

By all means, do that.
     One way of saying definitely or absolutely.

I’ll even put in a good word for you with Buddy.
     If somebody "puts in a good word" for you, they are
     telling another person something good about you.

Be careful. If there’s a scratch on the car, there’s a scratch on your ass.
     A small line, mark or injury, often caused by rubbing or scratching.

You are too fine to be giving me the curbside service.
     The act of driving a car to or from a parking space
     (The curb is the part of the sidewalk that touches the street).

They say anticipation makes the appetite grow stronger.
     "Anticipation" is the often anxious or excited feeling you have when
     waiting for something. A person’s "appetite" is their desire to eat.

I needed fresh drawers. My mother’s sick. The car broke down.
     In this case, a man’s "drawers" are his underwear
     (The all white cotton type of underwear are called briefs).

Hear me out! I’m sorry!
     One way of saying "Please listen to me!"

Hey, don’t let the tears fool ya! I’m a tooth chipper!
     Buddy’s way of saying a person who eats a lot, but this is never used
     ("To chip" a tooth is to break off a tiny part of it, perhaps when eating).

Six T-bones, 5 baked potatoes and two servings of creamed spinach.
     A "T-bone" is a type of a big steak. If a "vegetable" is creamed, it is finely
     cut and mixed with water or a sauce to form a type of a cream.

It’s a matter of recombinant acids unzipped by radioactive guanine peptide.
     This is Buddy’s very technical way of describing how people become fat
     (The biochemical vocabulary isn’t important, but you should know that to
     unzip a zipper is to open it, and to zip a zipper is to close it).

I hate this guy. He is so obnoxious.
     A critical adjective to describe a person who is loud, mean, too
     confident, arrogant, abrasive or has other disagreeable qualities.

It’s your world! I’m just a squirrel trying to get a nut.
     A "squirrel" is a cute little rodent, similar to a chipmunk (This is
     Buddy’s way of telling Reggie how important he is in the world).

It’s so small he needs tweezers to take a piss.
     "Tweezers" are a small metal instrument used to pick out or pluck
     tiny objects, such as a splinter from your skin. "To take a piss"
     is a common colloquial way of saying to urinate or go to the bathroom.

Tweezers on his dick!
     A common slang word for a penis.

I had to give myself the Heimlich.
     "The Heimlich Maneuver" is a famous procedure that is used to try
     and expel something from the throat of a person who is choking.

You mind waiting for the punch line, first, bro?
     The "punch line" to a joke is the last line that is supposed to be the funniest
     part. "Bro" is short for brother, which is how many black men refer to each other.

You’re so funny the way you take a person’s
personal defects and flip it around.
     A person’s "defects" are physical (or emotional) imperfections or problems.
     "To flip something around" is to turn it upside down, or in this case, to change
     the focus from one person to another.

You’re on your way...You’re going to the top. You’re the next Lenny Bruce.
     Buddy’s way of telling Reggie he will become one of the most
     popular comics in the country (Bruce was a famous 1960s comic).

Look at Reggie’s gums and teeth. It looks
like his mother had an affair with Mr. Ed.
     A well known "talking horse" that had its own TV show in the 1960s.

They can visualize your mother in a barn with Mr. Ed!
     "To visualize" something is to be able to see it in your mind, even if
     it’s not in front of you. A "barn" is where farm animals are housed.

It’s your teeth. I don’t know whether to smile at you or kick a field goal.
     A "field goal" is a 3 point kick that is made through two widely
     separated polls in American football. This is Buddy’s way of saying
     that there is a lot of space between Reggie’s teeth.

Reggie, your breath is so stink people look forward to your farts.
     In fact, "stink" is never used as an adjective, though Buddy does
     so here. A "fart" is a crude word for the passing of (stomach) gas.

The glove is coming off.
     This is Reggie’s way of saying he is going to become very serious and hard
     hitting (If gloves came off in boxing, the boxers would be much more likely
     to be hurt).

It’s time for Reggie to lay into your mama.
     "To lay into" a person is to severely criticize them. "Mama"
     is an old-fashioned but still widely used word for mother.

Your mother’s so fat she went to Sizzler and the bitch got a group discount!
     A crude joke. The Sizzler is a popular steak restaurant, "bitch" is a vulgar word
     for a mean or abusive woman (though Buddy and Reggie use it for any female),
     and a "group discount" is a special low price for when two or more people
     buy the same thing.

Your mother’s so fat the bitch need a Thomas guide to find her asshole.
     A well known book of city street maps.

Your mother is so fat after sex I rolled over twice and I’m still on the bitch.
      "To roll over" is to turn your body like a wheel, in a half circle.

She’s so fat she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck.
     More silly fat jokes: The Grand canyon is a huge canyon in the
     state of Arizona, and if a person is "stuck," they are unable to move.

Reggie’s mama’s so fat that the bitch gets her toe nails painted at Earl Scheib.
     The name of a company that is known for painting cars (not nails!).

Get off the stage. You ain’t in show business.
     The general terms for movies, theatre, music, etc...

Her blood type is rocky road...and her belt size is the equator.
     "Rocky road" is a type of chocolate ice cream with lots of nuts.
     The "equator" is the line that goes around the earth at its widest point.

I can’t take this shit no more.
     A crude way of saying "I can no longer accept this (or deal with this)."

It’s time for Reggie to Karatasize your ass.
     "Karate" is a famous martial art of physical defense, but this is a verb
     that does not exist and is never used. Reggie’s way of saying he’s going
     to attack or beat up Buddy.

I heard of dreadlocks, but shitlocks?!
     "Dreadlocks" are narrow  strands of hair that are popular with blacks
     (Shitlocks is not a word, but Buddy is saying Reggie’s hair has shit in it).

Take that pile of shit off your head. You go too far with the comedy.
     A "pile of shit" is a crude way of referring to any stack or bunch
     of anything that is considered dirty or unpleasant or disgusting.

Hey, who pinched my ass? Cut it out!
     "To pinch" a person is to hold their skin tightly between your
      thumb and finger. "Cut it out" is an excellent colloquial expression
      which simply means "stop it!"

Well, believe it, because ‘amazing’ is my middle name.
     When people want to brag or boast about a quality they have (in this case,
     that they are amazing), they will say so with the expression above.

This is our moment; I don’t want to ruin it with talks of Sherman.
     "To ruin" something is to wreck or destroy it.


             Buddy suddenly turns back into Sherman, and later
          Sherman invites Carla to dinner to meet his family.


Your lip is swollen!
     If something is swollen, it is enlarged or puffed up beyond normal size.

I’m having an allergic reaction. It’s giving me gas, too.
     An "allergic reaction" to something in the air is a biological reaction in
     which you start to sneeze, have watery eyes or something similar. If a certain
     food "gives you gas," it upsets your stomach and makes you pass gas or break wind.

You have to go catch a cab.
     A "cab" is another common word for a taxi.

I got to go to the drugstore and get some Benedryl and Kaopectate.
     Two common drugs used to treat skin and stomach problems.

What the hell is the matter with you, man?!
Oh man, this is Freddie Kruger shit, man.
     Note that "man" is a very common filler word with no meaning which is best
     to avoid saying. Freddie Kruger is the name of a character in 1980s horror
     movies whose face is always  exploding or contorting

I was trying to see how the students would
respond to a teacherless environment.
     This is Sherman’s ridiculous and scientific way
     of referring to a classroom that has no teacher.

My car’s in the shop. :: So you put a $47,000
luxury car on your faculty account?
     In this context, "the Shop" refers to the mechanic’s garage where
     cars are fixed. A "faculty account" is a bank account where teachers
     can get money to pay for school related expenses.

Initially I requested a Yugo, but this is all they had.
     "Initially" is another way of saying at first, or at the beginning.
     A "Yugo" was a very cheap and poorly made car from Yugoslavia.

I though maybe you’d start screaming and hollering and maybe even fire me.
     "To holler" is to scream or shout. "To fire" a person is to officially
     tell they can no longer work at their job. A powerful and sad verb.

I’ve got bigger fish to fry.
     If a person says that they have "bigger fish to fry," this means they are
     concerned about more important things then what you’re discussing.

He’s offering that tiny trinket that can save your entire research program.
     "Tiny" means very small, and a "trinket" is any small
     piece of jewelry or other small object that has little value.

He wants to hear your grant proposal personally.
     A "grant proposal" is an official request for money,
     often made by a school to a rich charitable institution.

Friday night. The Ritz. 8 ’o clock sharp.
     One way to say at exactly 8 ’o clock (not a minute later).

I promise you. I won’t let you down.
     "To let a person down" is to disappoint them,
     especially when they are depending on you.

I don’t mean that as a euphemism. I’m going to literally kill you. I’m going
to strangle you and choke off your air supply until you pass away.
     A "euphemism" is a gentle or inoffensive word for one that might cause
     offense or discomfort. "To strangle" a person is to cut off the air they’re
     breathing by choking them around the neck.  "To choke off" the air supply is
     to cut if off. "To pass away" is a euphemism for to die.

It’s a complete metabolic transformation.
     Your "metabolism" is the biological system that helps digest and expel
     food (metabolic is the adjective). A "transformation" is a complete
     change or restructuring.

The data for Shelly was already so compelling.
     If data or information is "compelling," it is powerful
     and convincing for a particular point of view.

I have a case of infatuation of sorts with Miss Purty.
     "Infatuation" with a person is a strong romantic attraction, even if the
     person who has the infatuation does not know that person very well. "Of sorts"
     is a way of saying "a type of" (but it comes after the noun).

This guy’s testosterone levels are right off the charts.
     "Testosterone" is the best known male hormone, that helps control the male
     sex drive. If something is "off the charts," the amount of it is well
     beyond normal (In this case, Buddy has way too much testosterone).

This is nuts!
     An excellent word for crazy (Note that the word "nutty"
     also means crazy or perhaps just strange or eccentric).

He’s kind of what you call a "here today gone tomorrow" kind of fellow.
     This is Sherman’s way of saying Buddy is good at getting women
     to fall in love with him, but then leaving them after he gets bored.

I know what it feel like to be brushed off and it’s OK.
     If a person is "brushed off" by another person, they are ignored
     in a rude manner, or in a romantic context, they are rejected.

I was working on a skyscraper in Chicago once 
and my lunch blew off the 27th floor.
     A "skyscraper" is a very tall building. Chicago is well known as "The Windy City."

Miss Purty, are you and Sherman having relations?
     A very old-fashioned and awkward way to ask a person if they are
     having sex with somebody (At a minimum, say "sexual relations").

It’s not like that! We’re colleagues.
     A useful word for two people who have a professional or business relationship.

The next thing you know, we’re in the shed
and he’s on top of me pumping and sweating.
     A "shed" is a small wooden structure, often used for storing tools.
     "To pump" is to raise water or air by moving a lever up and down,
     though it can also be used, as here, to describe sexual movements.

Will you hush-up?
     A possible alternative to shut-up.

He would take him home and give me hot, lovely relations.
     A completely ridiculous way to describe a sexual date.

That blowhole!
     A funny insult word for a person who talks to much.

Sometimes when I’m alone, I can relate to myself. :: I can relate!
     If a person can "relate" to something, they can understand
     it from personal experience (Though the first sentence is Grandma’s
     silly way of referring to masturbation).

You got those childbearing hips.
     If a woman has "childbearing hips," they are quite big or full.

Your family got any money? I ain’t paying for no big-ass wedding.
     "Big-ass" is a crude but funny adjective meaning big (Note the
     various grammatical issues with the second sentence).

I know a wonderful minister.
     In this case, a high official of a Christian church.

I still got my wedding dress. If you want, I’ll take it in.
     "To take in" a dress is to make it smaller.

Can you wear a white wedding dress, young lady?
     In theory, a white wedding dress means the bride is a virgin!

Look at my baby blushing!
     If you "blush," your cheeks turn red because you’re embarrassed.

When you realize all that been built up for 35 years!
     If something "builds up" over time, it grows or accumulates.

It might make your head blow off. :: Pop goes the weasel.
     A well known line from a children’s song (If something pops, it explodes
     or bursts, though usually in a small or non-violent way, and a "weasel"
     is a small funny looking animal).

I got my own self hot telling that story.
     In this context, "hot" is a way of saying sexually
     excited (If a person is hot, they are sexy).

Lesbians is cool.
     A "lesbian" is a female homosexual, and "cool" is an
     extremely common colloquial adjective for good or positive.

A little cunnilingus never hurt nobody.
     The act of performing oral sex on a woman (Again, note the grammatical issues).

That’s tradition. :: Tradition, my ass.
     This is a crude but effective way to show cynicism or disbelief.

You cheap bastard!
     If a person is "cheap," they don’t like to spend money.
     A "bastard" is a crude insult word for a mean or abusive man.

There you go again, popping off gas in front of this lovely lady.
     "Popping off gas" is a silly way of saying to pass gas or break wind.

Don’t nobody want to hear your flatulence, Cletus Klump.
     "Flatulence" is the correct medical term for passing gas.

You’re such a disgrace.
     An excellent word for a person whose behavior is completely
     outrageous or shocking (The adjective is disgraceful).

I’m so sorry if I seemed distant tonight.
     If a person is "distant," they are generally quiet, often
     because  their thoughts are with other people or places.

On the outside he seems so cocky and brash.
     Two good words that mean overly confident,
     generally in a loud or obnoxious sort of way.

I just got way ahead of myself. And hear
I am, talking your ear off about Buddy.
     If a person "gets way ahead of themselves," they begin to think
     about or plan for things that aren’t yet possible or likely. If somebody "talks
     your ear off," they talk way too much, often for several minutes or more.


         Buddy returns and tells Hartley why the school deserves his money,
     and Carla decides that both Sherman and Buddy are not worth the trouble.


Never seen a brother wearing a circus tent before?
     A "circus" is a travelling show that features wild animals and strange people.
     A "circus tent" is the large shelter of fabric or nylon that houses the circus.

Chunky butt is extremely horny.
     If a person is "chunky," they are overweight or chubby.  "Horny" is
     a useful slang adjective for a person who wants to have sex.

The testosterone levels are way too high; You can’t control him.
     "Testosterone" is the male hormone that controls sex drive.

Get the coagulated serum off the back shelf.
     "Coagulated serum" is a type of liquid from an animal.
     A "shelf" is  long and narrow piece of wood or other material
     that is used to hold things (such as a book shelf).

I have an appointment with love. Goodnight, hamster boy!
     Buddy’s silly way of referring to Jason, the lab assistant
     who works with the hamsters and other lab animals.

This is gorgeous?
     A powerful adjective for extremely pretty or  beautiful.

I would never disrespect you. I’m a puppy dog.
     "To disrespect" a person is to treat them poorly, look down on them,
     or in this particular case, to try and take advantage of them sexually.

I’d throw him in the river with a Buick
tied to his neck. He’d probably drag the car down.
     A "Buick" is well known type of car. "To drag" something is to pull it.

He’s 40 minutes late for a