让考官更中意的托福作文

       一篇简略有力的托福作文，会更能让评卷老师眼前一亮。你会让作文更简洁的表明你的意思吗？

一、取舍比较实际实用的单词，不用空洞的词汇

1. 一些空泛的单词或词组基础不能为句子带来任何相干的或主要的信息，完整可以被删掉。比喻下面的句子：

When all things are considered, young adults of today live more satisfying lives than those of their parents, in my opinion.

这句话当中的“when all things are considered”和“in my opinion“都显得多余。完全可以去掉。改为：

Young adults of today live more satisfying lives than their parents.

2. 有些空洞和繁琐的表达方式可以进行调换，例如：
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Due to the fact that our grandparents were under an obligation to help their parents, they did not have the options that young people have at this point in time.

“due to the fact that”就是一个很典型的繁琐的抒发方法的例子，可以替换，简化为下面的表达方式：

Because our grandparents were obligated to help their parents, they did not have the options that young people have now.

托福写作中经常会犯的22个小弊病

二、尽量减少重复，不要太啰嗦

1. 尽量防止重复应用同样的词汇。或者有的时候诚然词汇不重复，但意思却有反复。这时候能够做一些简化的工作。例如下面这个例子：

The farm my grandfather grew up on was large in size.

large 对一个farm来说就是size方面的large，所以in size可以去掉，改为：

The farm my grandfather grew up on was large.

更简洁的表达方式为：

My grandfather grew up on a large farm.

2. 有时一个词组可以用一个更简单的单词来更换，例如：

My grandfather has said over and over again that he had to work on his parents’ farm.

这里的over and over again就可以改为repeatedly，显得更为简洁：

My grandfather has said repeatedly that he had to work on his parents’ farm.

三、相关语法要决定最恰当的表白方式

取舍合适的语法构造可以使句子意思的表达更为正确和简洁。固然语法的多样性也很重要，但抉择最适当的语法结构仍然是更为重要的斟酌因素。以下，朗阁海外考试研究中心将推荐多少种考生们在考虑筛选何种语法结构时可以参考的准则：

1. 一个句子的主语跟谓语动词应该可能反映句子中的最重要的意思。例如：.

本文来自：英语之家

The situation that resulted in my grandfather’s not being able to study engineering was that his father needed help on the farm.

从意思上来分析，上面这句话须要表达的重要的概念是“grandfather’s not being able to study”，而在表达这个概念时，原句用的主语是situation，谓语动词是was，不能强调需要表达的重点概念，可以改为下面这句话：

My grandfather couldn’t study engineering because his father needed help on the farm.

2. 避免频繁运用“there be”结构，例如下面的句子：

There were 25 cows on the farm that my grandfather had to milk every day. It was hard work for my grandfather.

可以改为：My grandfather worked hard. He had to milk 25 cows on the farm every day.

更简洁的句式为：

My grandfather worked hard milking 25 cows daily. 内容来自

3. 把从句改为短语或单词。例如：

Dairy cows were raised on the farm, which was located100 kilometers from the nearest university and was in an area that was remote.

简介的抒发方式为：

The dairy farm was located in a remote area, 100 kilometers to the nearest university.

4. 仅在需要强调宾语而不是主语的时候，才使用被动语态。例如：

In the fall, not only did the cows have to be milked, but also the hay was mowed and stacked by my grandfather’s family.

本句不够简洁的起因是本句的重心应当是“忙碌的家庭-my grandfather’s family”，而使用了被动语态后，似乎重心变成了cows和hay。下面的表达方式是自动语态，相对来说更简洁一些：

In the fall, my grandfather’s family not only milked the cow but also mowed and stacked the hay.

5. 用更为准确的一个动词来代替动词短语，例如下面这句话：

My grandfather didn’t have time to stand around doing nothing with his school friends.

Stand around doing nothing切实可以用一个动词来表白，即loiter：

My grandfather didn’t have time to loiter with his school friends.

6. 有时两句话的信息经过组合完全可以用一句话来简练地表达，例如：

Profits from the farm were not large. Sometimes they were too small to meet the expenses of running a farm. They were not sufficient to pay for a university degree.

两句话的信息可能合并为下面这句更为简练的句子：

Profits from the farm were sometimes too small to meet operational expenses, let alone pay for a university degree.

简单并不代表没有难度，一篇好的托福作文，必须逻辑明白、词汇和句式利用恰当。如果考生对长句不太大的控制，那么不妨拆成更有把握的短句，一样能获得高分。

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