大学搞笑英语话剧剧本

　　甲:Hello,every one, have you ever seen the movie? Yeah, you are right, I'm the director-- Cameron Diaz, applaud , thank you....Recently, I will direct a new movie called < Avatar 2 >, today, there will be a audition and I will select three actresses who can get the chance to perform in this film with famous actress---Anne Hathaway,OK, let's begin. At first , talent show, number one, let's welcome.

　　乙:(风情万种,妖娆妩媚地走进来,给观众一个飞吻):oh,honey,dear,sweet,darling director, the most beautiful charming, sexy girl is coming , every body knows me, right? Yeah, I'm Nicole Kidman, open your eyes as big as you can and hold your breath, there will be a unique, fantastic dance show for you, I believe that all of you will be crazy about it ,(打个响指) come some music.(搞笑舞,自由发挥). (跳完,鞠躬,向观众谢幕), thank you,(面向导演), honey, is it a wonderful performance?

　　甲:(作目瞪口呆状),

　　乙:(在甲眼前晃手),oh, darling, are you Ok?

　　甲:eh...my god, have you use some stimulant drugs this morning, you make my nerves nervous. Get out , next one.

　　乙:oh no ...sweet ,you break my heart...(掩面离去)

　　丙:oh it seems to be serious. God bless me(画个十字架,镇定地走到甲面前,伸出手), nice to meet you, director.

　　甲:(与之握手),nice to meet you too,so, introduce yourself please.

　　丙:I'm Celine Dion, you know, I don't have too many achievements, I just won five Grammy awards, 12 World Music Awards, 7 American Music Awards , 21 Juno Awards and(做沉思状) oh, I forget it , a Oscar Award, (同学鼓掌,乙作安抚状),oh, calm down, calm down,it's just a piece of cake for me ,you know, I....

　　甲:ok ,stop, time is limited, just begin

　　丙:OK!!! I'll use my first signature song to conquer you --my heart will go on, just enjoy it.

　　near, far, wherever you are

　　i believe that the heart does go on

　　once more, you opened the door(甲stop stop,丙不理,继续作深情状)

　　and you're here in my heart,

　　and my heart will go on and on.

　　甲:guard ,guard,help,drag this mad woman out.

　　Oh, I'm dying,hope the next one will give me a surprise

　　丁:(对着乙的背影,沉思状)to be,or not to be,it's a question!(走到甲面前牵起她的手做亲吻状),I'm glad to see you,my dear princess.

　　甲(做娇羞状):oh, it's really a big surprise,so what's your name?

　　丁:My name? Oh, wait a minute. Do you know Trish Regan?(甲,白痴的摇头),eh..,it's ok,then how about Robin Meade?(摇头),and Melissa Theuriau?(摇头),(丁,情绪激动),you know nothing, how can you sit in here.

　　甲(指门,气愤状),you you you.....

　　丁:ok ok, it doesn't matter, you needn't learn about them, but you must know me, the most famous hostess who will catch up with those person and become the greatest poet---oprah!

　　甲:I don't care who you are, just show me your talent.

　　丁:ok ,listen,one poem,I have had found my best love, but I didn’t treasure her. When I lost her, I regret. It’s the most pain in the world. If God can give me another chance, I will say there words to her “I love you”!

　　甲(起鸡皮疙瘩状):oh, I can't stand, show you the door,

　　丁(转身离开,继续台词):If there is a time limit, I hope, it is (回头,对甲)10 thousand years.

　　甲:oh, it's really a terrible ,awful, horrible day,why it is such difficult to find an excellent actress.Oh, I'm dying,you three, come here,

　　三人跑进来,乙妩媚状:honey, you like my dance,right?

　　丙镇静状:director,you like my singing,right?

　　丁深情状:princess,you like my poet,right?

　　三人同声:we are past,right?

　　甲:eh..Thank you for your eh..Wonderful performance,but,I'm sorry to tell you ....(接电话) What? Nobody comes here except they three,oh...god.(挂电话,低头),you three,(抬头),pass!

　　三人欢呼,说:we make it,we are superstar!

　　乙(甜蜜状):that's very sweet of you,we love you so much(飞个吻)

　　甲:you know, you are not good enough now, but I'm look forward to your progress.Do you have confidence?

　　三人齐答:yes,we do!

　　甲伸手,三人搭上,同声,fight,fight,fight!